i can't begin to explain to you how nasty i feel, not only for me, not only for "christians" but for everyone. since i have been blogging and really formed a heart for not only children, but sick children, i have learned of so many tragic cases through blogger. i have learned about the MACS who lost baby cora, i have learned about baby EJ who was sick but seems to be doing much better, i have learned about LS who is 13 years old [on facebook], and i have learned about sweet layla grace a few days ago.
here these children are, fighting for their lives. not only fighting for their lives but fighting for every next breath of air they may or may not breathe. and we are so selfish as to whine because we can't go somewhere, or because our parents won't let us stay out past curfew. or in my case, whining to my husband because we can't afford a big fancy house yet or because i can't buy my favorite free people outfit when it first comes out on the racks.
who are we?
what have we become?
i would love with every fiber of my being to be able to say i'm not like that, but i can't- because sadly, i am. and some of you are too. these sweet children can't fend for themselves, they don't know what is going on with their precious little bodies, or why they can't go out and play with everyone else.
and here i am
worrying about me.
i am so disappointed, to not only feel like, but know what we as people have become. i'm not saying any of us, or you, are bad people. i'm not saying you aren't a magnificant follower of Christ, or love him "with every fiber of your being."
i'm saying it's time to stop being selfish, in whatever situation it may be.
we have the time to whine about petty things, or in my case, freak out because i don't have a handbag to match the outfit i'm wearing or shoes to go with a dress and i'm already late.
"No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money."
oh. my. gosh.
what about haiti?
what about children dying of cancer?
they don't have that problem, no? you're right. because they don't have the option to.
children in haiti can't complain about their shoes or their clothes. why? because they're too busy humbly walking the street barefoot, because they have no other choice. they can't live in a big fancy house. why? because their homes were all shattered by a damaging earthquake and the after shock of it.
these precious sick babies can't cry about not getting to play, or not wanting to take a nap. why? because their frail bodies are so fragile that precious layla grace couldn't move if she wanted to. and all she wants to do is sleep because in the past ten months her body has been through more at the age of 22 months old than mine has at the age of 20 years old. she can't even hold her own head up because of her on-going battle with stage 4 neuroblastoma.
think about it.
who am i?
i'm whitney, a 20 year old newlywed, who lives in florence, alabama. i love Jesus, with all my heart and really do work hard at letting Him shine through me, though i don't always let Him. In the past year I have fully renewed my heart to Christ, gotten married, and developed and even stronger love for children, a love that i have had for as long as i can remember. children are my passion, but lately i have felt in my spirit i am truly called to working with them. not only is my love and passion devoted to children, but to sick children. my heart is so heavy and hurts so terribly for them. i'm called.
Jesus, show me your way.
i promise to make a difference.