time to vent
have you ever been full on attacked by someone else? of course, i'm not talking about being physically attacked--but like, ambushed, someone coming out of no where and blowing you out of the water with some of the most hurtful words you have ever heard? yeah, me too. today actually. great way to start the weekend. i was asked by someone "why don't you like me?" keep in mind me and this person don't talk, we have friends who are friends but we just don't go out of our way to talk to one another. i didn't think it was because the hatred was so strong, i just thought we were two different people, minding our own business. he chatted me on facebook and said "can i ask you something?" and i said "okay." and he said "you have to answer kindly & truthfully" and i so proceed to wait for the dreaded "why don't you like me?"
like i said, i had no realization that we "didn't like one another," i just thought we were two people who were different, not too interested in being friends. he has a very sarcastic attitude, which is very annoying to me. so i just kept my distance, never made a big deal out of it. after all, we are supposed to sorround ourselves with the ones who bring us up right? and those who make us happy, too? that's what i thought too. until BAM!
i give my honest opinion, first, letting him know i just didn't want to get into this, because it was going to be made in to a situation that was uncalled for. but of course it couldn't end there, so i politely told him i just didn't like his attitude, and the way he was so sarcastic. i proceeded to say "i don't think i would feel that way if i knew you better, but i just can't ever tell when you're being seriously rude, or when you're joking with me" fair enough, right? absolutely not.
the conversation basically repeated itself the entire time. he told me he didn't like me either and that i was rude. well, okay. i ended the conversation letting him know his hurtful day made a big impact on my day turning from good-->bad & asked him not to talk to me anymore. why would he want to have anything to do with me if i was so rude and not easy to be around?
yeah, i don't know either.
this is where it gets ugly
he texted my husband almost immediately after i let him go. and basically said he had just talked to me and that it didn't go good and he was just "letting him know" what!? letting him know? where is it his place to text my husband, like a child, and give him a news flash that we talked "in case i were to tell him something happened" it's not. at all.
it's childish. uncalled for. rude. and annoying.
he proceeded to tell my husband what an awful person i am. what i need to fix, that i'm bitter, i'm angry, i need to go to church more, no one he knows likes me, i need to go through deliverance, he feared my soul, he knew when my husband married me they would no longer be friends, etc. etc. etc.
i'm sure just by seeing those things you must imagine i am one horrible person right? well, i'm sorry to let you down.. but i'm not a horrible person!:) i'm actually a very nice person. i'm shy until i really get to know you, but i'm not mean. angry. bitter. whatever. i guess if this was something i was constantly hearing i would take in to consideration that i am scum of the earth, but he is the only one has told me those awful un-christ-like things. and my personal opinion, if you want to let someone know something, and you really care for them and want to truly help them better themself in the LORD, then you don't start by attacking them. obviously.
BUT, it is a heartbreaking thing(s) to hear & was uncalled for. but i guess everyone in the world can't get along, right? but it doesn't mean we have to be mean about it and attack people!:)
my heart aches for those people.
so since you all obviously don't know me [some of you do]
i'm going to tell you 7 honest things about my personality:
1. i love everyone. i may not "like" you or we may "clash" but that doesn't mean my heart isn't in the right place. people are different. if we weren't, well--we'd all be the same! how boring is that?
2. i am very shy, unless we are very close or i feel very comfortable with you/around you. it doesn't make me rude, it's just who i am & sometimes it take me a while to get there.
3. i have a huge heart. whether it's for children, for life, for friends, for Jesus, for animals, for family, for anything. it's pretty much enormous.
4. my voice is loud. shy or not i have a loud voice. it doesn't mean i'm yelling at you or am trying to talk over you, it means my voice is obviously louder than yours.
5. i can admit that i'm not perfect. i can admit i am not flawless. i am human. i can live with this realization, i hope you can too.
6. i'm not going to let someone nail me into the ground without speaking up for myself. i'm not afraid of what you think of me & if you don't like me then you're missing out.
7. i do care what other people think about me. and the worst feeling in the world is knowing people you thought were your friends, aren't.
i hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little better :]
and if you have ever felt the way i'm feeling right now, remember--Jesus loves you. and you're a God pleaser, not a people pleaser. as long as you know you're heart is in the right place and you have that longing desire to better yourself for GOD then don't let the enemy and his crew bring you down.
the devil is under our feet, right where he should be--so put a little spring in your step!